@LackOfShame: I've never been as disappointed as my dog just was when she realized the food I dropped was a carrot.
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@duplicitron: *returns four pounds of skirt steak to butcher* I'm sorry. This just doesn't fit me like I thought it would.
@Sean_Burgundy_: It's so frustrating when your hitman doesn't answer the phone after you've made amends with someone
@marinhubka: I moved to LA 9 months ago and I've just been circling around this whole time looking for a parking spot.
@OhYeahILied: "I'm not a violent person but people can change", I whisper as someone takes a bite of my food.