@BobbleheadMagy: I've never been in love but I imagine its similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food.
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@Midgetspar: Stole my neighbors family portrait & got it tattooed on my back. Now I'm standing in their living room facing the wall 2 see if they notice.
@SveldtSmelt: I found where my mom hid the scissors, so everyone in my house woke up with a new haircut this morning.
@NakedHangover: If it's true that spiders are more scared of me than I am of them, why have I never seen a spider crawl away screaming like a little girl?
@Jamie1947: *talking into the phone, loudly enough that I know those ladies can hear me* WHATS THAT? MY SPACESHIP IS READY? GREAT, THANKS BARACK. OBAMA.