@kwirkyKerri: I've never been offered money for sex. Never been offered money to not have sex either. So there's that.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Things are going well. *knocks on wood* 5-year-old: Who's there? Me: It's not a knock knock joke. 5: It's not a knock knock joke who?
@Book_Krazy: Turtle 911: Whats ur emergency? Turtle: MY GIRLFRIEND JUST DISAPPEARED! 911: Have u tried looking in her house? Turtle: oops never mind.