@DaveTheAlbino: I've never been to Pilates but I have tried to change clothes in the car.
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@RobElliottComic: Me: congrats! Are you pregnant? Her: (awkwardly) Noooo... Me: *panics* do you wanna be? -great save- thanks brain
@Book_Krazy: Me: Well hello again. I knew you'd be back. I seem to have that effect on people Fed Ex: Just sign here so I can leave
@CamusOverEasy: The Blue Tooth in your ear tells me you are expecting an important call. At Walmart. At 8:00 AM. On Sunday. In the snack food aisle. Ma'am.
@blade_funner: "You suck." "No, you suck." "Really, you suck." "Please, you suck." "You suck, I insist." -- Polite vampires.