@LackOfShame: I've never bitten off more than I can chew, but once I put too much mouthwash in my mouth and couldn't swish it around.
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@ericsshadow: My son asked what it is like to be married, so I deleted all the music on his ipod except 1 song.
@karencheee: Today I watched a meteor shower until it angrily pulled the curtains closed and yelled at me to stop peeping.
@Parkerlawyer: A client just told me I reminded them of their grandmother. Welcome to 45. The world is my oyster.
@stephenjmolloy: Chief cop: "This might be racially motivated." Ian: "Hate crime?" Chief cop: "We all hate crime, Ian. That's why we are cops."