@Halbeerz: I've never hated a neighbour enough to get wind chimes.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@stephenjmolloy: Wife: "Ian is coming over." Me: "Ian from work or Ian who is good at disguises?" Wife: "Ian- *pulls off mask* -who is good at disguises!"
@shutupmikeginn: I have sloth-like reflexes "Don't you mean catlike reflexes?" [several hours later] No
@Jazzzzzmina: Me: I'm so over him Vodka: No you're not, you should text him Me: Really? Vodka: Yes! 25 times
@That_Damn_Duck: I learned all I need to know about how to treat my coworkers by watching every Saw movie at least ten times.