@Halbeerz: I've never hated a neighbour enough to get wind chimes.
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@krishna_van: "Give me a positive adjective..." "Splendid." "Nice. Now how about a negative adjective?" "Splendidn't."
@juliussharpe: Meet your girlfriend's brother then realize you're screwing the female version of a guy.
@TimDuffy: Thanksgiving is going to be hard this year because half my family dances to remember and the other half dances to forget.