@Halbeerz: I've never hated a neighbour enough to get wind chimes.
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@ChaoticBeny: Christmas always sucked when I was a kid because I believed in Santa Claus, and unfortunately, so did my parents. #Christmas
@mrjohntofu: My signature move is parking closely to the sports car at the end of the lot taking up four spaces.
@_sunshine25_: EATS clean for a week, loses 2 pounds. DRIVES by a donut shop, gains 5. This is some bullshit.
@Elizasoul80: Me: "I came to Twitter to be creative and express myself." Twitter: lol, you said "came".