@Donna_McCoy: I've never once been able to explain my car trouble to a mechanic without resorting to sound effects.
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@Allison_Tolman: Therapist: Participate in a hobby your partner enjoys. Me: Like sitting on paper bags? Therapist: No, not your cat. A human partner. Me: Oh.
@ArfMeasures: "Sir how should we sell scissors?" SADISTIC CEO: Put them in tough plastic that..get this*cries with laughter* u have to open with scissors
@rockymomax: [elementary school] BULLY: gimme your lunch money ME: no B: *grabs me by shirt* I said give it M: ok but this has to stop I'm your teacher
@Gooooats: I'm a Civil War reenactor but I only reenact the time General Ambrose Burnside took a three hour nap.