@CulturedRuffian: I've never run a marathon, but once I walked real fast across a parking lot because Krispy Kreme was about to close.
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@RobinMcCauley: AOL was hacked yesterday so watch out for spam email that looks like it came from 1995.
@moxieblogger: Dear God, Laying an egg once a month would have been preferable. Thanks for nothing. ~ All women
@Bagyants: The term "Expecting a baby" implies uncertainty. Like we're almost sure it's a baby, but could also be a bushel of potatoes, who knows
@nbadag: ME: here's your bday present! BUDDY: [tries to grab it but it won't budge] did u wrap your own hand flipping the bird again ME: just open it