@dumbbeezie: I’ve never texted someone to let them know I made it home safe. Shoulda come with me if you wanted details
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@Shade510: Hurt my back in a pretty bad helicopter accident. At my age, I really need to stretch before trying to move my hips like that.
@BigJDubz: Dr: I'm afraid you've got airportitis Patient: airportitis? I've never heard of it. Is it... serious? Dr: it's terminal P: Dr: P: Dr: nah, you've just got a cold P: you're an awful human being
@IamEnidColeslaw: If a tree falls in the woods can I stand under it so I don't have to go to work tomorrow?