@Renie_Rivas: I've never wanted a mansion. Not because I'm modest- I just don't need more places to lose my keys.
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@Mr_Kapowski: Clown 2: Sorry man. You got outvoted by us, 42-1. We want to listen to ICP Clown 1: My VW Bug. I'm driving the carpool. It's Streisand.
@NickSchug: If I worked at a pizza place I would use pepperoni to spell out "Marry me?" on pizzas all the time just to make things awkward for couples.
@SuperTeeWhy: Jaws (2015): "(cell phone) Hi Coast Guard, yeah a shark is banging my boat oh you're on your way great thanks"
@david8hughes: Midwife [handing my baby]: make sure you support his head Me: that's a really great, floppy little head you've got there. Well done