@PeaceInTruth1: I've never watched CSI because I learned everything I need to know about solving crimes from watching Scooby Doo.
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@TheBoghdady: "When a girl says 'Awww Thanks!', it means she's politely asking you to return to the friend zone that you just tried to escape from."
@kimmie_1980: I should start a wine company and name the bottles things like "don't be sad" "he's not worth it" "you deserve better"!
@chuuew: [Dinner with family of Owls] ME: Want me to say grace? DAD OWL: No. We don't do that M: I thought you were- D.O: Pls don't M: birds of pray?
@MelissaJoy33: I love being a mom. I just left the vacuum running in front of my teenagers door until he woke up. Should have done what I asked, lil shit!