@butterwolf: I've noticed you keep tiny pictures of family members in your wallet. Nice, I didn't know you played. I'm looking to trade my Nana card.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@david8hughes: When I see a guy sleeping on an unfolded cardboard box, I never know if he's homeless or just tired from breakdancing.
@aka_fatman: "...so when the plane crashed, we had to do the unthinkable to survive." "Eat human corpses?" [flashback to eating quinoa] "Y...yes."
@4handfuls: Some call it a fashion show. I call it my kids changing their shorts 8 times a day for no reason and leaving them all over the house...
@Sean_Burgundy_: Loan shark: If you're late my guys will ... Me: Tell my gf my phone password? LS: Break every bone in your body M: Oh. Yeah that's fine