@butterwolf: I've noticed you keep tiny pictures of family members in your wallet. Nice, I didn't know you played. I'm looking to trade my Nana card.
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@iwearaonesie: mom: Why are your eyes red? Are you high!? [flashback to me cry-singing Taylor Swift's "Love Story" in the car on the way over] me: Yes
@UnFitz: "If we don't know a word for something, why can't we just make one up?" he remarked confusatorily.
@catcerveny: Me: Dude, back off. You're totally scaring away all the hot guys checking me out at the gym. H: You do realize I'm your husband, right?
@Social_Mime: When I want to trim down my friend's list on FB I give my opinion and let nature do the rest.