@thegrugq: I've now had my account locked and been forced to change my password so many times it is up to: password1234567
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@daviddeweil: If The Bachelor was realistic they'd ask each other where they want to go out to eat and then never make a decision.
@tackie_jackie: Just gave my husband a 3 dozen box of condoms. He laughed and called it a life time supply. I laughed and called him optimistic.
@Sean_Burgundy_: It's so frustrating when your hitman doesn't answer the phone after you've made amends with someone
@FreshClemonade: Me: "Bond." *lowers sunglasses* "James Bond." Cashier: "You've been doing that for 35 minutes. Are you going to buy the sunglasses or not?"