@thegrugq: I've now had my account locked and been forced to change my password so many times it is up to: password1234567
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@KateWhineHall: "...This one is TOO big. This one is JUST right." -my daughter, picking out her preferred public toilet.
@CliffDuffy: Doctor: How did you get all those bruises? Me: Rough sex Doctor: That looks unhealthy and should stop Me: Talk to your nurse about that
@jesse_street: MAGICIAN: Think of a number, any number. ME: *thinks for a bit* …k MAGICIAN: That is a letter. ME: omg ur right
@DBMaxP: Who said losing weight was difficult? "Hello Blood Center? How much longer before I can donate another pint?"