@BuckyIsotope: I've only been eating 6 spiders instead of 8 every year so I'll have plenty for retirement.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@heatherlou_: Google just alerted me to light traffic in my area which is odd because I'm in the bathtub.
@donni: I told the 8 clowns in a tiny cop car to "clown arrest me! Take me to clown jail!" And they did. Bail has been set at 150 banana cream pies.
@ddsmidt: I want to be in a heavy metal band just so I can scream terrible things at crowds of people and not be accused of having PMS.
@daemonic3: Cop1: Has becoming a father affected your work Cop2: Not a bit Cop1: Ok cover me, I'm going in Cop2: HI GOING IN I'M DAD [both get shot]