@C_J_Commode: I've reached the point of laziness where even laying around has become too much for me to handle.
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@DaddyJew: "Daddy, how are babies made?" "Well son, when a man and a woman have too much to drink.."
@DamienFahey: When Chipotle says, "Guacamole is $1.50 extra, is that ok?" I pause, then say, "Hang on, let me call my financial advisor."
@KKAlThani: My iPod started crying after I dropped it. I said "You'll be okay, stop syncing about it". We laughed & made jokes about Microsoft together.