@C_J_Commode: I've reached the point of laziness where even laying around has become too much for me to handle.
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@UncleDuke1969: Me: I have NO drafts! Wife: *opens window* Me: ... Wife: *opens door* Me: ... Wife: That better? Me: I should have married your sister.
@KrissiBex: My family said if I don’t get a Facebook, they’d all get a Twitter I sacrificed myself for all of twitter kind I’m the Jesus of social media
@SteveKoehler22: Son : “Dad, who did I get my intelligence from ?" Dad : “It must be from your mother. I still have mine”
@Tmoney68: There's a sign in this bathroom that asks us not to flush anything but toilet paper down the toilet & now I'm unsure how to proceed.