@PhoenixRises69: I've removed swim with dolphins from my bucket list. Mainly cos I can't swim and drowning with dolphins doesn't have quite the same appeal.
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@SortaBad: "Babe I wanna ask you something" *gets down on one knee* "When The Little Mermaid became human, how'd she know to use a toilet?" *ties shoe*
@bigmacher: "Are u going to the circus?" is a perfectly good sentence when not used as a follow-up 2 your wife's question: "how does my make-up look?"
@sip_at_home_mom: I'm never more aware of a room's acoustics than when I'm trying to enjoy a snack I have no intention of sharing.
@nealbrennan: If people post just two more scripture quotes on Facebook, I will have officially read the entire bible.