@PhoenixRises69: I've removed swim with dolphins from my bucket list. Mainly cos I can't swim and drowning with dolphins doesn't have quite the same appeal.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ImKevinito: Just saw a homeless guy fall asleep with a lit cigarette in his mouth. Which probably explains why he's homeless.
@Donnie_Fairburn: 911: What's your emergency? Me: I brought a girl home last night 911: That's not an- Me: NOW SHE WON'T LEAVE! *swat team busts down my door*
@JElvisWeinstein: People belittle the internet "talking about a dress" as if we're busy solving problems otherwise.
@therealeatwood: [Biker gang] ME: Do we or do we not ride our bikes at the same speed? BIKER: OK, but you need to stop saying we “synchronize our cycles.”