@mommy_cusses: I've resorted to stuffing my bra with car trash so I can get everything out in one trip, but thanks for carrying that sticker inside, son.
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@PwrFulWmn: You attract more men when you smell like butter, sautéed ham and onions than any expensive perfume.
@monks_19: If I'm ever on life support, unplug me, let me sit for 15-30 secs, plug me back in and see if that works.
@ShittyComedian: Anytime I'm using a stall in a public restroom and someone knocks on the door, I always say, "Did you bring the lube?" As loud as possible.
@hippieswordfish: 'some ppl call me the space cowboy' um okay 'some call me the gangster of love' sir 'some call me m-' sir we just need a name for your latte