@mommy_cusses: I've resorted to stuffing my bra with car trash so I can get everything out in one trip, but thanks for carrying that sticker inside, son.
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@MiketheSourcer: Me: I love you. 5 yr: I love you too. Me: I love you more than you’ll ever love me. 5 yr: Okay
@_correctomundo: Nephew: What's love? Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink. Sister: Get away from him!