@TheTweetOfGod: I've said it before and I'll say it again: the Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.
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@WildeThingy: I wish young people would stop idealising future dystopias and start enjoying the one they're in.
@darinlovesbacon: Some woman at my office just said Star Trek when we were all talking about Star Wars and now our IT guy is refusing to fix her computer.
@Eric_Bader: Got laid twice in two days so either I've done something really good or my wife has done something really bad.
@Molly_Kats: The second I get shampoo in my eyes, I'm 100% sure there's a murderer in my bathroom.