@chelseaperetti: "WHEN ARE U DUE?" WHAT DIFFERENCE COULD IT POSSIBLY MAKE IN YOUR LIFE AS A STRANGER AT THE GROCERY STORE

@jwoodham: The year is 2087. Selfies are the new currency now and that annoying girl you went to high school with is the richest person in the world.

@ehchino: Kid 1: I'm bored Kid 2: me too Kid 3: our parents gave us horrible names

@sumpeoplelikeit: I wish people were more like dogs and you could just give them those three little pats and they'd know our interaction was over.

@mattgallo123: This cashier just held my five dollar bill up to the light in case you're wondering how I do with first impressions.