@Tmoney68: I've seen people tear a phone book in half with their bare hands & I just had to use scissors to open a bagged salad.
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@xLiserx: Dog Park Kid: What's his name? Me: Dorito. He's a therapy taco. Don't pet him. Kid:*Throws Ball* Taco:*Chases it. Lettuce flies everywhere*
@ElgatoEsmio: My new dentist called me back in to make another mold of my teeth. Needless to say he made a terrible 1st impression.
@RowdyBowden: Fifth Third Bank? I don't think you understand how to number things, which is something I generally look for in a bank.
@scott_towel: Convicted of murdering the English language, he was sentenced to death by elocution.