@Tmoney68: I've seen people tear a phone book in half with their bare hands & I just had to use scissors to open a bagged salad.
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@drinksmcgee: Me: C'mon, baby. Send me a pic. Her: I dunno. Me: Baby, please. I need it. Her: Fine. *Opens pic of pug dressed like a duck* Me: Sweeeeeet
@rorynotroy: if ur ever in a scary movie situation and find that the phone cords been cut just act like the phone still works thatll confuse the bad guy
@MartaEffing: *sees person I know in a crowd* *waves enthusiastically* * realizes I don't know person* * changes enthusiastic wave to awkward fist pump*
@clemdytan: I shot my first Turkey today. Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section, it was awesome!