@Lerky: I've slept with enough babysitters to know how to raise a kid thanks mom
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@Ibeerya: Saw a couple standing in the park holding each other tightly, silently, not moving. I was touched. Both their phones must've been stolen.
@bencoffeehall: My dentist asked me if I had a problem with my gums bleeding. You'd have to be really laid back to not have a problem with that.
@MsSugar_Kisses: "You should leave your wife..." The secret note I leave on my husband's windshield every morning...