@Breadery: I've spent my whole life trying to find a girl with a psychiatric disorder that makes her think she's a woodpecker.
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@NewDadNotes: Me: [giggling] who is Thor’s favorite rapper? Wife: I don’t know, MC Hammer? Me: oh. Wife: [sigh] what’s wrong? Me: nothing...I mean...why did you say I don’t know if you clearly knew the answer.