@Breadery: I've spent my whole life trying to find a girl with a psychiatric disorder that makes her think she's a woodpecker.
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@JasonLastname: My dentist recommended I sleep with a mouth guard, but I'm skeptical insurance even covers who I sleep with.
@Fred_Delicious: "daddy, the sun has disappeared!!" [Neil Degrasse Tyson arrives on a Segway] "listen here you little shit"
@DumbConfessions: God: Women will bleed for a week. Universe: What will men do for pleasure at that time? God: *sigh* Fine. Mouths. But they'll talk. A lot.