@pizzajaynow: I've spent the last six months trying to find my Mother-In-Law's killer, but no one is willing to do it.
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@dril: THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset. ME: I agree
@heyevergreen: if you take a selfie at a dad's funeral, his hand will rise up out of the casket and give you bunny ears
@CerebralWreck: [date started at 9 pm] [9:30 pm] Her: I love long awkward silences. [10:20 pm] Me: Me too.
@Book_Krazy: "It's one of those new Hoverboards!" 9: Mom, this is just 2 Roombas taped together. "Don't be silly. Now go vacuum...I mean play upstairs"