@GrrrRach: I've spent three hours investigating this chicken and I still can't find his nuggets.
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@abbycohenwl: Mom: Help! Is anyone here a doctor? Vet: I treat horses but maybe i can help M: My son broke his leg! V: Ok hang on. My rifle's in the truck
@hippieswordfish: *suddenly awakes* honey! i just had a nightmare that i was naked at a job interview, licking BBQ sauce off the guy's face interviewer: ummm
@ebruenig: Gandalf: It is in men that we must place our hope Elrond: Have you seen their tweets
@iamspacegirl: pros of being a jellyfish: -gelatinous body type. -tentacles. -sting the shit out of anything that tries to hug you. -low expectations.