@SwedishCanary: I've spotted six Pokémon today but I don't have the Pokémon GO app so it may just be that I need my new meds adjusted.
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@Rlpihl: [driving 2 school] *looks back,sees toothbrushes in child carseats WAIT! IF YOU'RE HERE THEN... [cut to kids at home, covered in toothpaste]
@markydoodoo: I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
@VeganZebra: *walks into IT department attempting to look cool* You guys torrent any emails lately?