@FeelingMervis: I've started an elimination diet, It's where I eliminate anyone from my life who talks about their diet.
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@Playing4Second: CW: Have you had 5 guys? Me: *blank stare* That's kinda personal don't ya think? And that's when I found out it's the name of a burger joint
@Sassafrantz: Started a pillow fight with my boyfriend, but I forgot that's where I hide my Oreos.
@MondayPajamas: *cleaning out wallet* Wife: Why don't you just buy a new one? Me: What? This thing's practically brand new *finds Nirvana ticket stubbs*