@darksidedeb: I've started slipping an occasional "meow" into everyday conversations with people to see if they're really listening meow to me.
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@Kyle_Lippert: The masseuse asked if I wanted her to finish me, I said yes & then she ripped my spine out & said "Flawless Victory!"
@JulieSnark: Pepsi and Coke can't even be in the same restaurant together and society wants us all to get along. Pffftt.
@Marcmywords2: Never compliment a woman on her sideburns ............no matter how magnificent they look.
@SqueakyFreckles: This crunchy cat food tastes a lot like I just poured from the wrong packet into my cereal bowl.