@darksidedeb: I've started slipping an occasional "meow" into everyday conversations with people to see if they're really listening meow to me.
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@NintenDom: I'm going to name my first kid Authorized Personnel so they can go wherever they want in life.
@IamEnidColeslaw: If a tree falls in the woods can I stand under it so I don't have to go to work tomorrow?
@Bizarro_Mark: I'll go to extreme lengths to get the last bit of toothpaste from the tube but I'll also watch 2 hrs of Nick Jr if I can't reach the remote.
@OtherDanOBrien: [Bruce Wayne enters Gotham Orphanage] I'll take your finest orphan. "Sir, we can't just give-" Here's $50mil. "Do you like boy acrobats?"