@pro_failure: I've stopped trying to explain twitter to my friends and now just say,"I collect tiny imaginary people in my phone using jokes as bait."
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@fart: what's cool about Mitt Romney is that when you put politics aside he's still a genuinely detestable person
@kelkulus: My iPhone has 2 million times the storage of the 1969 Apollo 11 spacecraft computer. They went to the moon. I throw birds at pig houses.
@Owl_Meat: [In a cucumber submarine] 1st mate: *inspecting leak* we're taking on saltwater captain Cptn: hm yes looks like we're in quite the pickle
@Cryptoterra: Does anyone know how to save your game on twitter I've been playing for 2 years straight my mom is pissed