@Stevie_Talk: I've used my wife's conditioner even though she told me more than once not to. Because I'm a rebel. A rebel with coconut dream hair.
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@thepoetknight: *pays $20 for deluxe car wash* *hits roughly 3,287,998 bugs during 2 mile drive home*
@Cpin42: Realizing his terrible mistake, Judas bitterly hurled his half-eaten Klondike bar into the sea.
@MamaFizzles: I used to think it would be fun to be a contestant on Chopped, then I birthed my own mini judges who criticize and reject everything I cook.
@SarcasticCharm: Please pray for my friends' 4 yr old. I just found out that ten minutes of his life wasn't photographed or documented on Facebook today.