@TheBoydP: I’ve watched Dancing With The Stars with my wife all season and she just asked who I think should win. Quick! Someone tell me who’s on it!
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@Love_bug1016: Santa read your DMs. The only thing you're getting for Christmas is a prayer group on Facebook.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Purchased an hourglass for my desk at work to flip when people stop by to make them uncomfortable.
@internetluke: [on date] Here, let me help you with your jacket! *i gently remove her jacket* This is mine now. Cya
@THEDUTHCHESS: A poster with a mugshot saying "Have you seen this man" So I rang up and said No. You have to do your bit for society .