@_Enanem_: I've written a musical called Fish. It's very similar to Cats, although Memory's a lot shorter.
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@Reverend_Scott: "I'm soooo tired!" [lays down in bed] "I'm soooo comfortable!" Bladder: Sup bro
@missekay: Hey guys, remember when you could still refer to your knees as right and left instead of good and bad? Good times.
@Brianhopecomedy: Looks like my wife snuck a love note into my pocket which is pretty cute, although I don't know what "DNR" means.