@_Enanem_: I've written a musical called Fish. It's very similar to Cats, although Memory's a lot shorter.
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@WarrenHolstein: FUN PRANK: Replace signs for Red Cross Blood Drive line with "iPhone 6 in Stock" and watch the shenanigans ensue.
@lloydrang: I just saw a squirrel dragging a wine bottle bag up a tree. I think I found my spirit animal.
@mrjohndarby: [1st date] Her: So, tell me about yourself Me: Well, I've got a black belt- Her: Oh! Me: ...and *looking down*.. brown shoes, gray socks...