@HanaMichels: I've yet to find a romantic comedy that speaks to me. Maybe if they set it in an institution or an Arby's restroom.
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@TylerComeOn: Stomach: I'm hungry. Brain: Chill out, dude, she's in a meeting. Stomach: I WILL NOW DEMONSTRATE A WHALE'S MATING CALL.
@FrogAvalanche: *inside camp-out tent* "Wanna hear-" *puts torch under chin* "-a scary story?" *flicks torch on, it vibrates* "OMG. ITS. NOT. A. TORCH."
@hippieswordfish: before guns were invented, armies had to throw bullets at each other and if a bullet touched you, you had to sit out until the next war
@meladoodle: The new options on Facebook look like the life cycle of every relationship I've ever had