@UNTRESOR: J.R.R. Tolkien's full name is Jolkien Rolkien Rolkien Tolkien.
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@bitchofficially: I'm gonna start a woman's monthly magazine called "Period", and some months I will send it out late to freak out subscribers
@AndyAsAdjective: [at oceanside seafood restaurant] Me: Is the fish fresh here? Waiter: Yes *from the kitchen, a fish blows me a kiss & waves seductively*
@Sassafrantz: I found out why I'm still single. Apparently, you have to go outside and let people see you.