@UNTRESOR: J.R.R. Tolkien's full name is Jolkien Rolkien Rolkien Tolkien.
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@othersome: I'm not the hero Gotham deserves. I'm Pete I work at Subway. Do u want extra meetballs.
@LorieGZ: Me: I hope you pee your pants, teach you not to hold it in! My daughter: You shouldn't wish for that..you're the one that does the laundry!
@topaz_kell: [talking to myself in the mirror] "You will not be awkward today." Person: "Hey" Me: "Good. How are you?"