@UNTRESOR: J.R.R. Tolkien's full name is Jolkien Rolkien Rolkien Tolkien.
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@SamDelanche: My boss just asked if I'm illiterate, which is offensive because I know exactly who my father is.
@BillMc7: Geese and swans mate for life. And that explains why it's very common for geese and swans to fly into jet engines.
@NoTheOtherJohn: Me: *Rubbing Chin* Why am I always hungry 30 mins after I eat Chinese food? Chin: [pushing my hand away}I dunno man I just deliver the food.
@DirtMcTurd: I took my family out to an authentic Chinese restaurant. My wife and I had chow mein and my daughter built 3 iPhones