@RatchetAfrican: Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name. Coincidence? I think not...
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@weinerdog4life: one time my cousin greg put on two jean jackets and he exploded, there was mustache everywhere
@HappyHijabbi: *Brings 8 year old back to hospital nursery with receipt* This one doesn't listen anymore...Can I get a new one?
@junejuly12: Apparently "if you must draw your eyebrows on, please draw them evenly" was not the tip this waitress was expecting.