@archerenemy: Jackpot is like regular pot, but with a questionable added ingredient...
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@CooperLawrence: Netflix documentaries convinced me I should be vegan. So I did what any American would do. I bought some bacon and canceled Netflix.
@TheAlexNevil: Death: I've come for you. Me: That's what she said. D (bursts out laughing): You get me with that one every time! Ok, see ya.
@ddsmidt: Familiarity with a stranger might mean they're an old soul you knew in a former life. But it's more likely a sociopath. ~Inspirational
@adult_keverage: Bought a 2nd cell phone to leave on the coffee table as a decoy when I go tweet in the bathroom.