@archerenemy: Jackpot is like regular pot, but with a questionable added ingredient...
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@AndyRichter: My body is a temple, but it's one of those temples in Thailand where they let monkeys shit all over the place
@KalvinMacleod: Day 3 of weight loss challenge: all my coworkers look like tacos. I do not understand how the meat remains in the shell as they walk around.
@murrman5: excuse me, waitress? "I'm not a waitress" Oh, what are you then "Well, I'm a..*turns to other burger king employee* what the hell are we?"