@archerenemy: Jackpot is like regular pot, but with a questionable added ingredient...
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@themiltron: god: behold, my creatio-- people: some rocks are more important than others god: what? people: i would literally kill for the yellow rock
@hyperblastchic: My mom accidentally killed my boyfriend this weekend. She didn't recognize him when she was canning pickles.
@AndyAsAdjective: captain: a lot of rumors floating around saying I sunk the ship sailor: [clinging to a piece of the hull] please stop calling us rumors sir
@iscoff: Every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings. It's always the same angel. It's covered in wings now and wants to die but can't