@JonasPolsky: James Bond is the type of top secret spy who announces who he is, then shoots everyone and sets off a bomb while doing absolutely no spying.
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@UncleDuke1969: "Can I get you to-" YES! "Great! Here it-" I'LL DO IT! "Don't you want to-" MAKE THE CHECK OUT TO... - Adam Sandler being handed a script
@BuffaloHomo: Instead of being frustrated that you only have a 140 character limit just be thankful that I do.
@psinerd: When someone asks me if I could hold their baby I immediately drop my phone, try to pick it up and drop it again twice, and then say "Sure".