@NurseSeymour: Jamie on FB just took a quiz to find out what type of flower she is. She's a vibrant poppy. Weird, all this time I thought she was human.
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@CountGripsnatch: I'm no architect, but I don't think it's possible to build a city on rock and roll.
@ComedicBust: Sometimes I'll casually say "what else do you want?" on the phone, so the pizza guy thinks I'm ordering for more than just me.
@Ikea_Monkey_89: When you get angry at someone count out loud to ten. When you get to eight, throw a punch. Nobody expects that shit.