@dawneywawney: Jamiroquai, because Jamirodepwessed.
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@sofarrsogud: *makes 9 yr old son memorise my phone number in case he gets lost [He gets lost] *I don't answer my phone as I don't recognise the number
@daemonic3: "I'm a skeleton!" *kisses and hugs you* Stop that! *kisses and hugs you again* What kind of skeleton are you?!? "An XO skeleton"
@weinerdog4life: The first thing you'll need if you're planning on stealing an ostrich from the zoo is a car with a sunroof
@_xLNc: My father once told me, "Son, if you want people to listen to what you have to say, claim it's something your father told you."