@IAmMaggieMull: Jamiroquai because Jamirosad.
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@OneThirstyNaut: Interviewer: Where did you receive your education? Me: Yale Interviewer: Wow! When did you graduate? Me: I yust got out in Yuly
@Sassafrantz: At 17, Joan of Arc led the French to victory and I just looked for my phone while talking on it.
@jwoodham: But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? / Are you still on your iPhone even though you said you were going to sleep?
@gavinpivott: A really hot girl asked me for my number today and all I had to do was hit her car with my car.