@samiru27: Jane Austen really squandered the opportunity to write a sequel called "2 Proud 2 Prejudiced."
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@Iwriteforcats: Me: How much should I spend on an engagement ring? Jeweler: 3 months salary on the stone. Me: *Duct tapes pile of Fruity Pebbles together.
@myonlymizztake: I want negative calorie credit for all the junk food I pass up. Didn't eat that cookie? That's -150 calories.
@FuckabillyRex: *skateboarding at 16 I don't care about girls, I'm skating. *skateboarding at 43 I should have had more sex when I was 16.