@causticbob: japanese corn
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@aveuaskew: " I made my famous dip for the office party" You're a regular Abe Lincoln. "But he wasn't a chef" Exactly
@DanMentos: "Hello?" Dad come get me from practice "Sorry I'm going into a tunnel" *sound of mom giggling* But I called the *connection drops* …landline
@jctwritesstuff: [Date] Me: You're a scientist? Him: Yeah M: You like chemistry? H: M: Wanna get in my genes? H: M: *slow winks* H: Are you having a stroke?
@rickkondell: I overheard two female coworkers say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.