@causticbob: japanese corn
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@BMcCarthy32: NFL catch rules are absurd. "Even though it looked like he caught it, he hadn't accepted the ball into his heart. Therefore, incomplete."
@GABBYdaAngSaya: 911: What's your emergency, sir? Me: I'm being taken away by ducks! I'm being- 911: Please don't do this, sir M: AbDUCKted! 911: *hangs up*
@CommonSavant: I use my neighbor's outdoor jacuzzi for bubble bath time with my cat. I'd invite him, but my cat's funny about bathing with strangers.
@ninjadinosaur1: It would probably be cool to hang out with a witch because you could bake just the biggest cake in her child sized oven.