@causticbob: japanese corn
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AnkCoupleTO: Me: [stands under majestic tree watching leaves fall] This is beautiful [2 hours later buried under a mountain of leaves] you piece of shit
@panmidwest: [Therapist's Waiting Room] ME: you're gonna bring up that I always try to predict the future aren't you WIFE: yup ME: I knew it!
@bourgeoisalien: At what point in listening to your kid whine can you say, "Sorry. This relationship isn't working out. You should start seeing other moms."