@MrLloydSpandex: Japan's flag is like a pie chart of how much of Japan is Japan.
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@Miltgen: *Job interview* "Im gonna need you to pee in this cup" *hands boss full cup* "Let's start the interview" *boss just sips it the whole time*
@MyPornKhan: I'm a married white male; my forefathers saw to it that I'm not allowed to be offended by anything.
@lazerdoov: Girlfriend: hey babe you wanna get breakfast and go for a run? (Cut to me with a mouth full of Doritos) Me: I have shin splints