@KimmyMonte: Jaws (1975): A shark gets annoyed because a bunch of people break into the ocean
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@Smooheed: Jobs I'd be shit at: -brain surgeon -rocket scientist -ventriloquist -goat herder -sober person thingy
@ThatsSarcasm: *Picking up my kid from school in 20 years* Me: Yo shawty leggo. Kid: Please no. Me: Stop hating YOLO. Kid: You're embarrassing. Me: Swag.
@badteacher4u: Strangely enough, yelling "I have a masters degree!" at this electric wine opener is not helping me figure out how to make it work. Weird.