@tastefactory: Jaws (1975): A shark is murdered on his vacation.
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@sarcasm_inc: HI I SPIT GUM OUT OF MY CAR ON THE FREEWAY AND IT BLEW BACK IN MY EAR 911: Sir, u need to pull over WHAT 911: Use your other ear, sir WHAT
@fightforfood: There's no dumb questio— "Why'd my parents get divorced?" See. His parents most likely split up because he's an interrupting little shit
@SomthinBoutSara: How do you end an argument with a woman? Tell her to calm down. You're dead now but the argument is over.