@tastefactory: Jaws (1975): A shark is murdered on his vacation.
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@ThatRascalPuff: Gramps: *on deathbed* I feel like Im forgetting someth- *dies* [2 yrs later] Me: *knocking water outta my ears* *quarter falls out*
@Breadery: Officer: Sir, we have reports you've trained this bird to injure passersby. Me: Ridiculous! O: The pet's name? M: Paul the Attack Canary.
@saladinahmed: hey I just met you and this is crazy but I'm going to argue with another stranger in your mentions for hours maybe