@haleysfalling: Jaws (1975): people started hating a shark for doing normal shark things
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@TheBoydP: My wife asked me if I was going to take a shower before we go to some friend's house for the evening like she didn't see me get in the pool.
@FattMernandez: Vince Vaughn supports the right to carry guns in public. So if you ever wander into 1 of his movies, you can just shoot yourself.
@ArfMeasures: WIFE: It's great having kids, isn't it? ME: Oh yeah, it's the best W: How long until they go to bed? ME: 4 hours, 17 minutes & 26 seconds
@KentWGraham: Based on the sounds coming from my neighbors’ house, they’re either having amazing sex or putting together a dresser from Ikea.