@captain_happen: Jay Z and Beyonce had a 4 million dollar dinner with Obama.... Wtf did they eat? Fresh dinosaur?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheToddWilliams: [beach] ME: Sure is beautiful here HORSE: Yup ME: Lovely sunset too HORSE: Uh huh ME: So...You want a drink? HORSE: Nice try
@hipchkk: Packing my daughter's prom kit...lip gloss, stun gun, pepper spray, switchblade, and I've uploaded all 5 seasons of Teen Mom to her iPhone.
@sofarrsogud: ZOO BOSS: You're fired! ME: Is it because I cross bred a dog with a zebra and called it a Debra, after my wife? BOSS: Yes. Yes it is.