@SocialustGal13: Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween. Guess they don't like random people coming up to their door.
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@TheCatWhisprer: The best thing about the first day at a new job is nobody knows I only have one outfit.
@hipstermermaid: Donald Trump is like the "Scream" movies in that he blurs the line between comedy and horror.
@CoatCzech: Me: Table for four, please. And can we get some crayons? Her: Will there be children dining today? Me: No. The crayons are for me.
@AntozWolf: People say I have the legs of a dancer. But until they find the rest of the body, the cops have nothing on me, man!