@SocialustGal13: Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween. Guess they don't like random people coming up to their door.
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@timdonakowski: *stops next to punks at red light* *stares them down, turns up The Walking Dead opening music* *light turns green, slowly accelerates*
@Robert_Beau: I'am drinking with my new GF and her gay friend from work. So there's 100% chance I'am getting laid and a 50% chance I'll like it.
@FatherWithTwins: 4yo: Raise your hand if you are young Me: *raises hand 4yo: No, daddy, not you.