@DarthSteveus: Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate Halloween...I guess they don't appreciate random people coming up to their doors.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@rockymomax: [making the first boat] "How do we get across this river?" ME: we gotta build a boat "What's a boat?" ME: that's what we gotta figure out
@Barknado69: Today I saw "Jesus doesn't care about your grades" written on the sidewalk in chalk and all I could think was "Thank god, he'd be pissed"
@gruffybeard: Her: Why is every chocolate in the box half eaten? [Flashback to me biting every piece to find one I like] Me: We have a rat problem.
@_davidlucas_: Daddy! Tell me a story.. The Tooth Fairy is really a wicked witch, who takes all your teeth if you sleep with your mouth open. Good night.