@trevso_electric: Jennifer Aniston is always cast in the same role because she's a victim of Rachel profiling.
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@iinkedZombie: The horn quit working in my truck, so I'm hanging out of the window revving this chainsaw at pedestrians.
@myonlymizztake: Note to self: Used VHS tapes do not make good emergency gifts, always go with stuff from the freezer.
@rocknthepurple: I'm just a girl, standing in front of half a pizza thinking it's been long enough since I ate the 1st half to consider this a different meal
@Smooheed: When I'm pushing the twins in the pram and someone asks me if they're mine I say 'no, they're for my collection' and run as fast as I can