@trevso_electric: Jennifer Aniston is always cast in the same role because she's a victim of Rachel profiling.
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@mstluvstrinkets: You Shook Me All Night Long is a great song that also describes what I do to my husband when he's snoring.
@WillHinsa: My new years resolution is to stop biting my toenails. Nervous habit I picked up during all these meetings at work.
@decentbirthday: son: i caught a tadpole! me: actually that's a dadpole son: i'm confused *from fishing net* hi confused, i'm dad