@lazerdoov: Jerk chicken is just regular chicken that didn't let it's daughter go to prom
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@notacroc: [spelling bee] JUDGE: your word is antonym ME: synonym JUDGE: no you have to spell it, not give an example ME: *lips on mic* i-t
@TheToddWilliams: THEO VAN GOGH: I can’t believe you lost your other ear in a poker game VINCENT VAN GOGH: What?
@AnniemuMary: My grocery store changed its whole layout. It was better the other way so I'm slowly and quietly moving everything back.
@Thomas_Lull: Life is like a box of condoms. If you don't use one, you never know what you're goin get.