@Carter_TCB: Jesus Christ. They stole your tweet. Not your first born son.
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@MissNaughty1801: Boss:I need you to do something for me... Me:what? Boss:go on the jobcentre website and look for another job
@LuvPug: I could probably survive about a week in the wilderness eating only the food I spill on my shirt any given day.
@Home_Halfway: Sometimes I'll go to a grocery store and rotate all of the Tide detergents 90 degrees and yell "THE TIDES HAVE TURNED!" until I'm kicked out